Haters gonna Hate: Are we really supposed to just sit back and take it?

Surfing the web today I came across an online review directed at a veterinary hospital and a specific veterinarian in a small community. Reading it made me angry but then I realized that I don’t have to remain silent. This review was not about me or about my practice but it quite easily could have been. In fact, it has been about me in the past and like many veterinarians, I too have been victim to negative reviews, online slander and even bullying in my small community. For twenty-seven years, as a vet, I chose to “take the high road” and remained silent. Refusing to respond to the negative and slanderous online trolls, I tried to grow a thick skin and focus on staying positive. Only those closest to me know how much it hurt and how I struggled to not let those comments eat away at my confidence.

In the early years of my career, I struggled with being a professional in a small, close-knit community. As a vet, everyone had an opinion. They loved you or hated you. You were either a hero or a money-grubbing capitalist. Sometimes  the same client that praised you last week was the one calling you a heartless villain this week. While it has gotten easier to accept the nasty comments and behind your back whispers that occur in a small community, I have to admit, sometimes it still feels personal. How can it not? For many of us, our career as veterinarians is a calling, not just a job.

I still recall the experience as a new practice owner, of a truly hateful and slanderous campaign aimed at harming our small business and turning our new community against us. I was invited by a friend to join an evening painting group. I love to draw and paint, but starting a family and buying a small business had left me little free time to pursue my hobbies. I decided it was time to do something for myself and agreed to join my friend. I introduced myself to the group as just “Elaine” and being new to the community, most of the members did not know I was “Dr. Elaine”, a veterinarian.  As people worked on their art and chatted with each other, I remained silent as the talk turned to pets and then a discussion of local veterinarians. Opinions about local veterinarians were bantered about and then my stomach knotted as things suddenly took a nasty turn. I listened in shock, as people discussed the smear campaign of posters that were being placed around the community “exposing” the terrible new veterinarians that had recently started a practice. This was the first I had heard about this slanderous campaign and I was afraid and hurt. With a tremor in my voice, I stood up and re-introduced myself as “Dr. Elaine Klemmensen”. I heard a collective gasp go through the room and sat back down to a room of stunned silence. I continued to paint while trying to figure out how I could get the hell out of there! Thankfully I was saved by my pager buzzing. One of the few times in my career I was happy to get called in for an after-hours emergency! Trolls did exist, back in the days before social media. Spreading their message was a little more difficult and their reach more limited but the effect on an individuals psyche equally devastating. The happy ending to that story was that it helped to build my resiliency and it taught me a valuable lesson about focusing on inner happiness and my own definition of success rather than external validation and popularity.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and what I am talking about here is not respectful dialogue and open communication aimed at resolving a conflict or misunderstanding. I am talking about mean and spiteful online slander aimed at harming an individual and/or their business. There is a difference and for years I ignored those trolls and refused to respond for two reasons: first, it seemed unprofessional and petty to respond. Second, I did not want to get drawn into the negative drama and chose instead, to protect myself and stay positive. To focus my energies on the people and things that I cared about in life and let the haters hate. It is far too easy in veterinary medicine to dwell on the negative. The negative outcomes, the negative clients, and the negative reviews. To let that one mean, unhappy client or coworker, ruin your day while forgetting about the 20 amazing people that put a smile on your face.

What I realized today, while reading this nasty online review, is that I can finally speak up. I no longer own a veterinary practice, I no longer have anything to lose and maybe it is time for all of us in this profession to end the silence, to stop turning the other cheek and to tell the bullies what we really think.

So to all of you out there who have posted unfair, biased and downright mean reviews about your vet. Rants aimed to hurt or damage their reputation with no desire to understand or resolve your issue. Wake up and take responsibility for your choices. You adopted that pet, you took on the financial responsibility for that animal and it isn’t your vet’s responsibility to subsidize the cost of medical care for you. It isn’t your veterinarian or their team’s fault when it is injured or ill.  As hard as we try, as skilled as we may be, we cannot save every patient, we cannot foresee every complication and while we are doing our best, at the end of the day we are only human. Stop making your vet feel guilty if they want to earn a fair salary for the 60+ hours a week they work and for heaven’s sake stop telling them they’re “only in it for the money”. Frankly, this phrase is getting pretty old for all of us. Show a little creativity and come up with something new already. Recognize if you choose a lower priced veterinarian who does not offer 24 hour emergency care, you made this choice. When your pet is ill on Christmas Day and your regular vet won’t answer their phone, is it fair to expect the other veterinarian to miss Christmas morning with their kids? Oh, and one more thing, if you are going to slander us or our team online at least have the balls to sign your real name. To Professor Dante, DW,  Mountain Mitch and all the others hiding behind your slick pseudonyms, you’re not fooling anyone. We know who you are and all you have succeeded in doing is losing our respect. If you have a problem with our service or care, just talk to us. Face to face. Like a grownup. 

Sorry if that sounds unprofessional folks but maybe it is time to stand up for ourselves and tell it like it is. When my son was in grade 5, he was the target of some schoolyard bullying. We talked about it and encouraged him to not react, to pretend it didn’t bother him, essentially to turn the other cheek. True to his nature, he listened, digested this information and then decided to handle it his way. This involved tossing the said bully across the room and ending up in the principles office. We were called into the school to discuss our son’s “anger management issues” and true to our non-confrontational nature, we listened and did not say what was on our minds, something I have always regretted.  Where are the other kids’ parents? Is it okay to constantly taunt someone with mental abuse until they snap? Thankfully his teacher gave our son the support we did not when several weeks later, he asked him how things were going. Our lad replied that things were much better for him after he threw the kid across the room.  The teacher just looked at him meaningfully and said: “Sometimes you just gotta do, what you gotta do”. 

Maybe it is time to stand up and do what we gotta do. What do you think?

Try the Goat

As I watch the sun set over the Caribbean it seems remarkable that 6 weeks have passed since our arrival on the beautiful island of Carriacou. In just 5 days, we we start on a long journey to Eastern Europe with the end goal being some family time and to visit our daughter who is a student at the United World College in Mostar, Bosnia. For the next month we will not be doing any veterinary volunteer projects and just enjoying some travel time and family time. While we will enjoy just being vagabonds and on our own schedule for the next 8 weeks, volunteering as veterinarians has been an amazing experience. It has given purpose to our travels and improved our surgical skills, adaptability and resourcefulness as veterinarians. These are benefits I had expected when I started down this road of international volunteerism, but there is one benefit that I had not fully anticipated. Volunteering abroad has provided us with an instant community of interesting, passionate and dedicated people from around the world, with whom we have formed lasting and meaningful friendships. To all you exceptional humans, whose we’ve met over the past 16 months, thank you. Getting to know you, sharing our stories, sharing a meal and occasionally sharing too many rum punches has made the last year a truly amazing journey. It has gotten me thinking about what makes for an exceptional veterinary volunteer experience and also what makes an exceptional volunteer.

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In the last year and a half we have worked with a large number of volunteers. People from around the world, with different backgrounds, nationalities, ages and experience levels.  Compassion and a love of animals is the common ground that unites us and brings this diverse group of people together on a project. While I can only truly speak to my own experience, I feel some volunteers return home transformed and empowered while for others the experience is less fulfilling. Like so many things in life, the benefits you receive are directly related to the effort you are willing to put in. So once you have decided to dip your toes in the world of veterinary volunteerism (or really any type of volunteer work), how can you ensure you will have the best experience possible?

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When you pack your bags, don’t forget to pack a great attitude. If you walk around with a storm cloud over your head at your practice back home, leave the attitude there please.  This is a working holiday, after all, so leave your worries at home and consider it an opportunity to make a fresh start.

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Be ready to work hard and pitch in wherever you are needed. This means forget about your job description at home and be willing to clean kennels, wash instruments, answer phones and sweep floors, even if you are a vet!  Really?  Yes, really.

Shut your mouth and open your mind. Forget about how you do things “back home”, listen to the project directors, follow the protocols and accept that things are done differently for good reason. Costs and availability of medications varies greatly from country to country and project to project. Stop and consider the Project leaders and directors. These people have often put in countless hours of their own time not to mention countless dollars from their own pockets, in order to get the veterinary project launched. They have a very personal stake in the project. When you show up and immediately start complaining about the type of suture available, the anesthetic protocols the expired drugs on their hospital shelves you have just successfully alienated the very people that gave you this opportunity. Good work!

If you have a big ego, please stay home. Seriously, there are enough big egos and competitive attitudes in our veterinary practices at home, let’s not bring them along on volunteer trips. Egos are the enemy of teamwork. A big egos does not endear you to your coworkers, and most importantly it gets in the way of reaching the project goals.

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Talk with the local people not at them. Engage and interact with the community you are working in and try to leave your preconceived ideas of a country or culture at home. This can be harder to do than you may think. We are all programmed to believe our way of thinking is correct and to want to change a local populations way of thinking to more closely match your own.

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Remember your manners. Be respectful of local people, the charity organizers and the other volunteers. Say good morning, smile and don’t forget to say thank you. Nothing will give you a bad reputation, as a volunteer, faster than rudeness and an ungrateful attitude. Have fun but remember you are working in a small community of people, both the volunteer community and the local community.  Your behaviour can impact not only you but can also affect the reputation of the project. Remember you are an ambassador for more than just yourself.

Finally, remember to bring a sense of adventure, have fun and be willing to trying something new. Never eaten goat? Now is your chance. Always wanted to snorkel with sharks? Say yes to that unexpected invitation. Things rarely go as planned on volunteer trips, electricity goes out, patients wake up in the middle of surgery and you may find yourself forced to improvise and try things you would never consider in your practice at home.  Just go with it, stay cool and don’t sweat the small stuff. Odds are you will be amazed that, in the end, it all turns out okay. 

 

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Since selling our veterinary practice in November, we have discovered a new world of opportunities and experiences as veterinarians. A huge thank you to everyone who has made these past 8 months so remarkable: Maun Animal Welfare Society, the Spanky Project, Carriacou Animal Hospital and all the people we have met along the way. You accepted us without hesitation, made us feel welcome and gave us the opportunity to be part of something bigger than ourselves. Thanks to you, we now have friends around the world and networks to new adventures in the years to come.  Following our travels in the Balkans we will be returning to Canada for 4 months to work as locum veterinarians. Our journey as volunteer veterinarians, however, has just began as we have several new projects, as well as a return to some of our favorites, lined up for the end of 2018 and 2019.

Stay tuned and until then remember to try the goat!

Wind in my face, Chiggers biting my butt!

Following Chiverico we spent 3 days in Santiago de Cuba, a city we loved, and then made our way back to Holguin. In total we rode 675 km, not bad for two out of shape, middle aged veterinarians who are new to cycle touring!

After days of cycling along the Caribbean Sea and Eastern coast of Cuba, where we would see only a handful of vehicles on the road, we were nervous entering the city of Santiago de Cuba. We had been told people either love Santiago or hate it, with its narrow, motorcycle filled streets and jineteros (touts) with a ferocity unmatched elsewhere in Cuba. We were thrilled to find the traffic less chaotic than we expected and the touts less ferocious than those we have experienced elsewhere. In short, we loved Santiago! The best words to describe Santiago are hot, steamy and colorful. With a climate that leaves you dripping and ready to shed all but the necessary layers of clothing, Santiago forces you to slow down, saunter its streets and spend the afternoon in a shady plaza watching the world go by.  The nights heat up and a short walk leads to outdoor cafes, street food carts, dancing and impromptu concerts. While we were approached by some jineteros we also spoke with people in plazas wanting to practice their English, met an elderly professor who made us promise to write to him and had countless people give us directions in rapid fire spanish as we smiled and nodded, with a blank look in our eyes. By watching the direction they pointed, we would ride a short distance, stop and start the process over, eventually finding our way thanks to the kindness of strangers.

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Streets of Santiago de Cuba

Each community we visit has its own distinctive feel and Santiago definitely oozes seduction.  From the steamy climate, to the music and most notably the residents. We felt downright frumpy in our baggy cycle shorts and long sleeved jerseys as we enjoyed the fashion and comfortable way people accepted their “shape” in Santiago. Motorcycle taxis are the easiest way to get around the city. We marvelled at women of all ages wearing stylish but tight, short skirts and carrying a cake (people in Santiago seem to love cake?) who would flag down a motorcycle, hop on the back, side saddle fashion and while holding their cake aloft, speed off to their destination!

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Beautiful Santiago de Cuba

Climbing out of Santiago we headed back to Bayamo and then onto Holguin completing our bicycle loop in the Oriente. We split the ride from Santiago to Bayamo into two days by staying at a casa in Palma Soriano.  With only two casas in town we stopped at the first one we rode by and were warmly welcomed by Ana.  An older lady who spoke no english, she was obviously delighted to have guests. She immediately set about preparing us a large lunch of congri, roast chicken and salad followed by ice cream with local honey!  She sat with us while we ate, talking to us in spanish and obviously enjoying our company and the gusto to which we consumed her meal.  At one point when her elderly husband approached, she spoke to him harshly and then looked at us, pointed at her poor husband and circled her finger by her head, making the universal symbol for “crazy”!  Wanting to get an early start we asked for breakfast at 6 am and despite the language barrier it was obvious that 6 am was much too early.  We agreed on 7 am and true to her word, Ana was up and cooking for us in her pink baby doll pajamas at 6:30 am. With breakfast on the table by 6:45 am, she smiled proudly and took Rob by the shoulder as she showed him her watch to say, “see señor, 15 minutes ahead of schedule”!

Back in Bayamo the next day, we wandered to the main plaza in the evening and where once again entertained by the festivities. It was Saturday night and families were out in full force.  The main plaza, Parque Cespedes, is quite large and surrounded on four sides by streets which have very little if any traffic.  There 4 or 5 cute little carts, some decorated like old stage coaches being pulled by goats! Children were riding around the square in the goat carts while their parents visited and chatted along the side lines with their neighbours.  What a great way to spend an evening!

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Goat carts and kids, the cutest combination ever!

The final leg of our cycle tour involved an 80 km ride from Holguin back to Bayamo.  Although we had ridden this road previously, on day one, we were not looking forward to repeating it as we knew we would be battling heavy headwinds in this direction. We remembered the terrible state of the road, requiring long periods of riding along the foot path in the ditch which was in better shape than the pavement and the lack of rest and bathroom stops along the route.  After an early start we made good time for the first 40 km before the heat and wind really started to pick up.  When we stopped for a bathroom break, Rob suggested I sneak into a large concrete culvert as there was a lot of morning commuters and little in the way of trees to hide behind.  It seemed like a great idea, so off I went to squat in the dark, damp culvert. Pulling up my cycle shorts, I suddenly felt the most intense stinging and burning sensation over my entire left butt cheek and upper thigh.  While whipping down my shorts and underwear, I yelled at Rob to bring down a water bottle and PLEASE start washing off my ass!  I picked off what I think were several chiggers biting me and high tailed it out of the culvert.  The stinging was intense, feeling like I had sat in a nest of hornets. Unfortunately there was nothing to be done but pull up my “big girl panties” (literally) and get back on the bike. The pain lasted about 6 hours and then 24 hours later the itching started.  Slathering my arse with butt butter (the stuff cyclists use to help with chaffing), I hoped to suffocate the little critters.  Things have since improved but we are waiting to see what type of creature emerges from my arse once the eggs hatch!

The rest of the ride became a lesson in endurance and perseverance as we struggled against the wind, the heat and the rough road to arrive in Holguin exhausted and happy to find a warm welcome, a meal and a bed at Refugio del Reyes, the casa of David and Sara.

After a 12 hour overnight bus ride from Holguin, we arrived in Havana ready for a break from cycling and keen to start working as veterinarians with the Spanky Project. More to come on the Spanky Project and our time in Havana, but for now…may the wind alway be on your back and the chiggers biting someone else ass,

Elaine

Gratitude: Rossland you Rock!

Yesterday I woke up, my first day of “retirement”, a word I hate as I don’t feel like I am ready for that word, not yet anyway.  So lets start again. Yesterday I woke up, the first day of a new beginning. I enjoyed my coffee, dealt with emails and headed out for a chilly mountain bike ride. As I peddled up hill, I felt a little off balance, this was my first day of freedom and it just felt like any other day. The last year has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so perhaps it is understandable when you hand in your key and walk out the door to a different life, it feels a little anti-climactic.

As I rode, I let my thoughts drift over the last 20 years, thinking about the life we built in this little mountain town. Since arriving in Rossland, in 1997, the community has mostly known us as “the vets”, rather than Rob and Elaine.  For many people, living in a small community takes some getting used to, especially if you are a professional and in the public eye.  You quickly realize that everyone seems to know everyone else’s business, everyone is related, people talk behind your back and not everyone wants what you have to offer.  You grow thicker skin and remind yourself to focus on the positive.  After all, “haters gonna hate”. As I rode along in the beautiful fall weather I was reminded again about all those positives of small town life and realized that what I am feeling as I move on to this new beginning is gratitude.

Cultivating gratitude doesn’t cost any money but has huge benefits.  So here is my list of all the great things about living in Rossland, the most amazing small town in Canada. The place that we will picture when we hear the word “home”, as we head out on this new beginning.IMG_2335.jpg

  1. Everyone knows your business:  Yes, it is often annoying as hell to live life with no anonymity but it also means you have a whole community that has your back and is helping raise your children (I usually knew the trouble my kids were in before they arrived home from school, thanks to the local gossips!).
  2. The amazing outdoors:  How cool is it to live on the side of a mountain where I can ride my bike in any direction and within 10 minutes be in the woods!  Enough said.IMG_2374.JPG
  3. Kids can be kids:  My kids could walk to school alone every day, which is pretty cool. Even cooler though is that the biggest concern was wildlife.  End of day announcements at our school were often a wildlife update ” On your way home, today be alert, there is a mother bear and cubs hanging out on the corner of Cooke Ave. and Nevada Street kids”.  Where else can your kids grow up and not need to carry a key, because most of us don’t lock our doors. So awesome!
  4. Buying groceries is a social event:  You pop out to pick up a jug of milk and return home 2 hours later because you saw everyone you know at the local grocery store and got to catch up with all your friends!
  5. A community that cares:  Losing a school due to declining enrolment and lack of government funding? No problem, Rosslanders fought hard to save their high school and when they lost the battle, they picked themselves up and started an independent high school. Need a skate park? Rossland to the rescue and a group of committed community members made it happen (slowly to be sure, but the cement was poured this fall along with a new Youth Center).  Love riding or hiking our amazing network of trails? Thank Friends of the Rossland Range.  Looking for something to do this weekend? Check out the amazing programming available from the Rossland Arts Council.  Rosslanders not only know the meaning of community, they live it.  In fact, many people in this community inspire me to be a better person and to get involved.

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To our home town as well as the amazing communities of Trail, Fruitvale,  and the surrounding areas, thank you.  It has been an honour and privilege to be part of this community as your veterinarians.  Now, as we start this new chapter, we look forward to getting to know you as Rob and Elaine.  See you on the trails!

The Story of Frank and Zelda

The early years of running our own veterinary hospital were hard. We were open 6 days a week, on call 7 days a week and raising two young children with no family close by for support. I know this sounds like one of those stories you tell your kids… “you think you have it tough, well let me tell you about tough! Ever try to repair a smashed pelvis and fractured femur with a drooling baby on your back and another one screaming in a playpen next door?” I’m not complaining, it’s just the facts of what our early years as practice owners were like. It was the life we chose and after every exhausting day we looked at each other and agreed it sure beat being back in the dysfunctional partnership we had escaped. In those early years of raising a practice and raising a family, one of the highlights of every night was bedtime. I know, all you parents out there can relate…please, please just go to sleep, we need some adult time. No, the highlight wasn’t getting the kids to sleep, (although this was sweet too), the highlight of our day was story time.  Clean and warm from their bath and cuddled in their jammies we would take turns laying down on their little beds and reading stories. Often, for two exhausted vets, this turned into the kids poking us and saying mommy/daddy finish the story, as we found we were reading ourselves into slumber. I recall Dr. Suess books being especially effective at putting us soundly to sleep.

A little book called “Pizza for Breakfast”, was one of our favorite stories from this period. I do not recall how it ended up in our home, but it was a lovely little fable about Frank and Zelda, two portly restauranteurs who ran a small mom and pop pizza shop. They worked hard making their delicious pizza but were always wishing for more…more customers, a bigger restaurant, etc. After each wish, a “little man” would show up at the restaurant and their wish would be granted. Unfortunately, as each of their desires came true, a set of new problems appeared and they would end up lamenting to each other…”Frank/Zelda we need a plan”.

Our journey as veterinarians was not unlike Frank and Zelda’s (minus the magic little man to grant us our wishes, we just had hard work and staying power on our side) and over the years on those particularly difficult, stressful or truly draining days one of us would catch the other’s eye and say “Frank/Zelda we need a plan”.

How do you sell a veterinary practice? Well, obviously you need a plan and be prepared that plan is going to take some time to execute. Our goal was to get out before we were a couple of washed up, cranky shells of our former selves but still had enough energy to start a new chapter. So how do you sell a multi doctor veterinary practice without going corporate? These days it ain’t easy but we have a few tips for those of you in the same situation.

  1. Stop being a dick and start mentoring your young associates. I am not kidding about this, treat your entire team the way you would want to be treated if you were in their position. Respect, responsibility and appreciation for what they do for you goes along way with all your employees. Model the leadership you want to instil in the new owner and be patient. If you deal with your employees with honesty, transparency and respect you are setting the foundation for a respectful ownership transition.
  2. Evaluate your motives for selling and make sure your are truly ready to let go of the reins and give up control. This was a big one for me. Are you mentally ready to move on and let someone else take control of your practice? Only you can answer this question but you better spend some time reflecting on it and make sure you will be able to step aside when the time comes.
  3.  Have a professional evaluation long before you decide to sell. Address any management problems and get the place in tip top shape prior to looking getting serious about a sale.
  4. Recognize it is going to get stressful and set up expectations at the beginning of your negotiations. We have a great relationship with the associate who purchased our practice but even so, we all agreed that what was most important, to the three of us, was to remain friends. Then, when things get tense, and they will, be ready to step back, put yourself in the buyer’s shoes and be reasonable. Do you really want to sell? You better be willing to give a little and not always get your way.
  5. Let go of your ego, the stories of how much you sacrificed to build your practice and say goodbye to your ridiculous expectations of what your practice is worth. At the end of the day, it is worth what someone will pay for it. Get an evaluation, negotiate for a fair price but again, don’t be a dick. That will just lose you a sale and potentially a valued friendship.
  6. Don’t look back. When the documents are signed and you hand over the keys to the kingdom just pat yourself on the back and be happy. When the dust settles, you will realize you’ve given yourself a gift, the freedom to begin a new chapter and the chance to turn to each other and say “Frank/Zelda we need a plan”.

 

 

Midlife crisis or the smartest thing we’ve ever done?

Here it is, blog post #1. To get you in the mood take a minute and hum the theme song for the Brady Bunch in your head (or out loud if you are at work and need to liven things up a little).  If you don’t know the theme song to the Brady Bunch, what are you…under 20?  Google it and then sing along with me…

Here’s a story, of a vet named Lainey

who was living a pretty awesome life.

A thriving vet clinic and a fine family

it was pretty nice.

 

Here’s a story, of a vet named Robbie

who was happy too but ready for a change.

So they sat down and they started scheming

it was time to go.

 

Then one day when they finally sold their clinic

and they knew it was much more than a hunch,

That this freedom would bring some new adventures

and that’s how they were unemployed by lunch.

 

What the fuck are we thinking?  Sell a thriving business, a secure income, a respected job and a pretty envious life for what?  A plane ticket to Africa, working in primitive conditions for no pay?  Sleeping in the dirt over our comfy posturepedic mattress under a fluffy down duvet? A life of routine, safety, comfort, friends and family for a year (or more) of the unknown?  Hell yes!!! I’d be lying if I said we haven’t both woken up in a cold sweat thinking WTF were we thinking.  Then in the warm light of a new day we find ourselves giggling like school kids with a secret.  We did it, we got ourselves free and this blog is where we will share our journey (as well as other ramblings from a mind unleashed).

If you find yourself saying “what do I care about a couple of middle aged veterinarians trying to have an adventure” then why are you reading this?  Scram!  Get lost!  There are lots of other blogs out there just waiting for you.  Don’t waste your time here.   But if you have ever felt trapped, if you need a change but are afraid to make a change or if you too feel that “a gold watch and a nice retirement home on the golf course” is your personal definition of hell, then read on.  I hope you enjoy our journey.  I promise, no golf courses.