Love Is

Sleep can be elusive for me. It’s 1 am and I look over at Rob, who slumbers through my restless nocturnal antics and I marvel again at my good fortune. My good fortune to have found this mate and my best friend. His beard has a more liberal sprinkling of salt, as of late and the crinkles I love, by the corners of his eyes, are now there even as he dreams. My own face in the mirror often takes me by surprise and I wonder, where did the years go?

While I still feel like that 24 year old who said “I do” 27 years ago, I know I have changed. And so has he. How amazing it is that we were able to change and grow together, not apart? How, at the young age of 24, did I manage to find a mate who I am so happy to wake beside each morning and with whom I look forward to the years ahead. I have been a wife, longer than I was single, a sobering thought, but for me, one that brings comfort. Like many things in our life, success has been a mix of good planning, hard work and a little bit of luck.

Hollywood would have us believe there is one true “soul mate” waiting for each of us. Cue the sappy music and the couple walking off into the sunset. As much as I enjoy a good “rom com”, I wonder whether the media’s version of love has set us up to be unhappy in our relationships. Humour me for a minute while I bust some “myths” about love.

Love is blind.  Maybe if you’re a naked mole rat or a Labrador retriever. If you’re a human being, you’re fooling yourself. Is it really “cute” that he texts you incessantly and is jealous when you go out with your friends? Better open those eyes, and quick.

Love means never having to say you are sorry.  What a load of crap! Being a good human being means having to say you are sorry and take responsibility for your actions. Why is it any different if you are in love? In fact, love means sometimes having to say you are sorry, even if you aren’t. Don’t worry, eventually you will be sorry.

All you need is love. Well sure, but money might be helpful. And food. Yes food is definitely a good idea. Water? Shelter? Family? Self worth? You get my point.

Love makes the world go around. Well now that is just silly. I am no brainy scientist but I am pretty sure love is NOT what makes the world spin on it’s axis OR rotate around the sun. But then again I could be wrong about this one….hmmm, is it really love? That’s pretty cool if it is! I kinda hope I’m wrong about this one.

Love completes me. I truly hope you can become a complete person on your own. If you need another person to “complete” you, that’s a little weird.  In fact, if you want to be in a healthy relationship, you need to be whole, on your own as well as comfortable in your own skin. If you’re still figuring out who you are or if you are trying to be someone different so he will love you, you are headed down a dangerous path. Someday you are just going to have to be your boring old self again, then what? Just be a human being, flaws and all and complete your own damn self!

Rob likes to test me to see if I can remember our wedding vows. To his dismay, I usually forget at least one of the lines and then I have to cover my inadequacy by firing back “I don’t have to remember the words, I choose to live them instead”. So here goes, lets see if I can remember my promises.

Rob, I promise to be your faithful wife

To laugh with you in joy

To grieve with you in sorrow

To stand by you in trouble

To grow with you in love

To honor you and cherish you, so long as we both shall live.

Crap, I know I’ve forgotten a line.  Laugh, grieve, stand, grow.  What else? No it did NOT involve a vow to obey. Pretty sure there was no clause about dancing (Rob would squash that one) or singing (I can’t remember the words to any song). Oh man, I’m in so much trouble. Maybe it had to do with forgive (let’s hope so). My poor long suffering husband. I love him so.

And yet, despite my flippant remarks, I still believe in love. Sure it hurts sometimes but your heart is an muscle, it needs exercise to stay healthy. If you find love, don’t take it for granted.  Be prepared to work to make it stronger, to make it last a lifetime and make sure the people you love know it.

I once heard an interviewer ask elderly couples what was the secret to a long and happy marriage. One elderly gentleman had the best response. He said, “well, each day I get up, go to the bathroom, and I take a good, long look at myself in the mirror.” Pausing for dramatic effect he continued, “and then I say to myself, well you ain’t no great prize either!”

Advice worth remembering. You ain’t no great prize either.

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The Spanky Project

Okay, let me start with a disclaimer. No spanking occurred during this volunteer project. Very serious stuff only folks, sorry to disappoint! Founded by the kind and humble Terry Shewchuck and named after his dog, Spanky, the project was started about 15 years ago and has recently become a non-profit charity, growing to involve a chapter in the USA coordinated by the delightful Audrey (sorry Audrey, I never did learn your last name, my bad!). Terry’s love of Cuba, its people and a desire to improve the lives of the furry four legged Cubans was the catalyst for  the Spanky Project. While planning our cycling trip, I stumbled on their Canadian and American Facebook pages while looking for volunteer veterinary projects in Cuba. A few emails later and we were part of the February 2018 campaign.

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We arrived in Havana a few days early in order to change our visas from “tourist” to “working” and discovered Terry had taken care of everything for us. Our new visas allowed us to stay in Cuba until May 1, 2018 which was a huge bonus as a tourist visa is only valid for 30 days and our planned departure in late March meant we would have overstayed our welcome.

Travelling through Cuba 5 years ago, I fell in love with Havana. Sadly, the love affair is over. Perhaps revisiting a place you loved isn’t a good idea. You go with high expectations but it is never the same the second time around.  It leaves you wondering, what changed? Did the city really change that much? Or perhaps it is you who changed? Havana still has the crumbling beauty I found so intriguing, but on this visit the touts seemed more ferocious, people less friendly and old Havana more touristy. However, we found a warm and welcoming home at the lovely Casa Mirador la Colina. We were blown away by the our kind and gracious host, Aymee, who always greeted our return with a genuine “how was your day?” and a warm embrace. When Rob’s bicycle seat was stolen, our first day in Havana, she found us a new seat (not an easy feat in Cuba)! If you are in Havana, I would strongly recommend Case Mirador la Colina as a safe refuge from the city.

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Fishing along the Malecon in the evening light

We were excited to start working with the Spanky Project. Each veterinary project we have volunteered with has its own unique set of challenges and rewards. For our first day, a mass vaccination campaign and parasite treatment regime had been arranged in Old Havana. The project works closely with and has the support of several Cuban animal welfare groups as well as local veterinarians. Approximately 135 animals received rabies vaccinations, topical flea and tick medication and internal parasite treatment. The day proceeded smoothly and we were excited to find Cuban pet owners well educated and knowledgable about their pets health. One pet owner inquired as to what topical external parasite treatment we were using, as her dog had reacted poorly to Fipronil in the past.  Another told us her dog had had a treatment of ivermectin one month ago and wondered if another treatment would be okay.

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We were also excited to be working with veterinarians from the local area. The collaboration and support of the local veterinary community in Cuba is a unique part of the Spanky project and one of the reasons we wanted to work with them. As volunteers, we are always sensitive to the long term impact a project has on both the local pet population, pet owners and also the local veterinary community. Hopefully, a project has both a positive impact to reduce pet overpopulation, improve animal welfare and educate the local community on the benefits of sterilization, vaccination and animal welfare. A good project also considers the impact their actions have on the local veterinary community. For example by offering free sterilization programs are we also taking away the bread and butter of a local veterinarian? A truly great project attempts to engage and train local people who can benefit from these new found skills and sustain the work you started, long after you leave. It is my belief that all volunteer organizations should have a long term view that considers the sustainability question. Kind of like like running a great veterinary practice. Hire quality people, support them, train them and nurture them until you become redundant and can walk away, knowing your legacy will continue without you. Perhaps this is an idealistic view but it was exciting to see the Spanky Project considering the end goal. In addition to practicing veterinarians from Havana, there were also veterinarians from Matanzas, Cardenas and one assistant from as far away as Guantanamo participating on this campaign. Students from the University of Havana rotated through the different areas of our temporary hospital, including admission, pre surgical examination, anesthesia, surgery and recovery. Students were keen to take advantage of the opportunity the Spanky Project offered them and they allows bring a great energy to any project. Many students commented that this was where they would learn how to spay and neuter small animals and that they were learning more here than in the university classroom. Several students who participated in past campaigns, were nurtured by the Spanky volunteers and have now graduated as Doctors and Doctoras were back to volunteer with the 2018 campaign. That, I believe, fulfills the goal of sustainability.

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The University of Havana
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Dr. Micheal from Toronto discussing sterile technique with the students
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Surgical Suite

Despite all of these positives there is still one big elephant in the room. With an educated pet owning population and well trained local veterinarians, open to collaboration why is it so rare to see sterilized dogs and cats on our travels throughout Cuba? Why is overpopulation still a problem? In every town we have visited, in every casa we stay, it is extremely rare to see a sterilized animal. Overpopulation is evident across the country and one casa owner, a biology professor in Holguin, told us she had a very hard time finding a veterinarian who was willing to spay her cat. As in most countries, you need to talk to people and look beneath the surface to find the reasons. Despite an excellent education system, the veterinary training here has a different focus than in countries like Canada. Culturally there is still some resistance and misunderstanding about the benefits of sterilization. Without Bob Barker telling everyone to “remember to spay and neuter your pets”, the message just has not gotten through to the average Cuban pet parent. In addition, a surgery we consider routine, is far from routine if you have never had the opportunity to actually preform a spay before you graduate from veterinary school. This leaves the average Cuban veterinarian somewhat uncomfortable with offering this service. But perhaps the biggest problem is the reliable availability of the anesthetic agents and medications needed to practice veterinary medicine in Cuba. As with everything here, there are two markets, the usual marketplace (whose shelves, while better than several years ago, are still essentially bare) and the black market. Again it isn’t always a matter of being able to afford consumer goods, the goods simply are not available unless you “know a guy”. Talking to a few of the Cuban veterinarians working on the project, they confirmed this and commented that the farmacia shelves for humans are dangerously lacking and for veterinarians it is even more difficult.

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A little street puppy with mange

Obviously the Spanky Project is doing its part to help with exposing students, veterinarians and the pet owning population to anesthesia, surgical technique and postoperative care of veterinary patients. As more veterinarians are able to reliably preform and offer sterilization services pet owners will see the benefits in healthier pets that live longer and suffer less injuries and illnesses, lessening the need for a “Cuban Bob Barker”!  As for the problems with bare pharmacy shelves we can only hope that time will improve the situation.

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Spanky Project – working together for the animals

The best part of working with the Spanky Project, however, was without a doubt the amazing group of passionate and dedicated volunteers from both Canada and the USA.  Terry, Audrey, Micheal, Michelle, Byron, Stephanie, Gordana, Joe and Jamie. As well as all the amazing Cuban volunteers we met Gusto, Claudia and Katcha to name just three (okay, I admit it, I can’t remember the other names!). You took us in, made us feel welcome and at home and even let us do a few surgeries!  Here is hoping we meet again, can share another Mojito and our passion for Cuba, its pets and the people that make it so special!

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Hasta luego Amigos,

Elaine and Rob

Final disclaimer, there may have been several mojitos consumed during the making of this blog…I cannot be held responsible for the opinions held by a slightly inebriated version of myself.